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Deserving

     I was just sitting here watching Orange is the New Black when two of the characters made some comment about getting to have a cookie as a reward for doing some arbitrary task. I immediately stopped paying attention to the show and starting thinking about the whole concept of thinking we, as women can only feel comfortable eating a dessert or some other 'bad' food if we do something deserving of it. I can't think of a time when I heard a man say he felt like he had to earn his dessert, or called a cookie a reward. In our society women historically have unhealthy relationships with food and body image, and it is something ingrained in us at a young age.       When I was a little girl I was sometimes allowed to go to the 'girl's lunch' at Red Lobster with my mom and grandma. I would sit there feeling like a big girl, sipping on my shirley temple, devouring cheddar biscuits with popcorn shrimp, and listening to the two ladies that I idolized most in t...
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Mirror, Mirror

      Here she is once again, the same spot she finds herself in every night, facing her own judge, jury, and eventual executioner. Her eyes move slowly upwards as she quietly speaks the words, “Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the most perfect of them all”.      The girl stands silently awaiting her answer, starved, broken, her arms dripping the only tears she is allowed to cry. Everyday she waits, praying the mirror will tell her that she has finally done it, she is finally perfect, and the punishment can finally stop. It’s a fleeting hope because the mirror shows her the same thing it does every night, more pain, more imperfections, and more reasons why she is weak. Soon flashes of her loved ones begin to haunt her reflection to remind her of everything that she isn’t. She isn’t pretty enough, a good enough daughter, good enough student, a good enough wife, mother, friend, and the list keeps going. She is faced with all the people she has let down in t...
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No More

   *Possible Trigger- This story depicts very graphic descriptions of domestic violence. I wrote this because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and there are countless people living in situations like this, their homes are battle zones never knowing when the next strike will happen. It is not as simple as just being done with your situation, saying you are done is the first step, but you have to have a safety plan to get yourself and your children free from the abuser. It is never okay to tell a person living in this situation to "Just leave", you don't know the threats and the control the abuser holds over them. It is important to develop a safety plan, the most dangerous time for a person in a domestic violence situation is when they are trying to get out. If you know someone in this situation there are resources that can help, call your local domestic violence shelter for information on filing protection orders, safe places for the victims to go, and how...
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Standing Back Up

     I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror today and I was almost shocked at the woman staring back at me. Seven months ago I never would have thought that I could be doing what I am doing now, hell I didn't think I could do anything at that point I had been beaten so far down from the person I was. For everyday the last nine years I have been battling the monsters inside me that try everyday to take me from this world, to take me away from my son who needs me. Up until September I thought those were the only monsters in my life, I had been blind to the fact that a real life monster slept under the same roof as me everyday. I was too afraid of the diseases taking me, too afraid of losing my son to let myself accept what was happening to me. Everyone tried for so long to help me see reality, but it wasn't something that could happen until I realized how far it had gotten, how far I had fallen, and in the end only I could be the one to stand back up and fight for both ...
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